June 2. 01. 2 - www. Welcome to Orsm. net. As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster. As if we weren't already sure it was winter, we've been lashed with three absolutely delightful storms this week. Windows were rattled, branches torn from trees and the obligatory "Are you looking forward to the storm?" from anyone with a mouth was wielded unashamedly. Yes I most certainly am".

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Sunday was the worst. A once in 1. 0- year storm they called it.. Perth in 2. 01. 0 but I'm not a meteorologist so we'll just assume it was one- tenth as bad. If you're sensing a bit of disinterest and sarcasm then - as usual- it's probably because the whole media coverage thing just got out of control.

Directed by Sheldon Wilson. With Gina Holden, Jana Pallaske, Lance Henriksen, Greg Bryk. A group of humans arrive on Sirius 6-B to investigate an SOS signal sent out.

Sunday was bad for a lot of people - houses lost rooves and fences and over 1. People had to throw food in the bin because their fridges weren't working dammit! In the wake of Sunday however, Tuesday's storm was predicted to be even worse - around the clock reporting to us the mindless masses to secure loose items on property and stay away from windows flooded the airwaves.

And then the storm came and wasn't much of anything at all. Yeah it was a bit wild and windy but the forecast devastation didn't materialise. You have to wonder at what point the fear mongering turns from legitimate warnings to a ratings chase. I suppose there's the argument about what would happen if we weren't warned and it ended up being a once in 2. No doubt the coverage on the backend would be unbearable. At that point you might be grateful to have no electricity. Anyway.. on to all things me and various happenings over the last week.

A Twist Ending that serves no purpose other than to be excessively cruel. The Cruel Twist Ending is basically the Evil Counterpart of the Karmic Twist. Blade Runner is a 1982 American neo-noir science fiction film directed by Ridley Scott, written by Hampton Fancher and David Peoples, and starring Harrison Ford.

Starting with Friday which was a busy as fuck. As usual the first port of call was an adjustment of the chiropractic variety. Just when things were getting better, I managed to screw it all up in the days before by jumping on the row machine. Long story short, no rowing for the foreseeable. Kind of sucks balls because morning rain has halted all outdoor exercise activities of late. Next up was birthday present shopping [urgh] and a trip to get the car assessed by the insurance people following my accident a week before.

I'm still completely in the dark about who's to blame. I reported it two weeks ago and still haven't heard anything back. Not quite the 'in the next few days' they told me. The rest of the day was spent at the PC doing update stuff before heading in to the city to catch up with the boys for a drink. The last time this particular segment of mates caught up together was a year ago. We're all just that busy [and pathetic?] apparently.

Saturday was go go go from the word go. An 8am meeting about the house build started proceedings. Basically we had to give an idea of what we want where so the quoting can start. Departed from there in male parent's four- wheel drive to head homeward, collect helpers, hitch up the trailer and make way for our storage unit. We got this thing upon cohabitation beginning late last year.

Culminating two people into my tiny house left us with way more furniture and junk than would fit so the storage was meant to be a temporary measure until we bought something bigger early in the year. Plans of course changed, 'two or three months' turned into six and it was becoming far too expensive to justify. So a free alternative was figured out [thank you spare room at mum's house] and with the help of six people, four cars and two trailers, that's how we spent the next few hours. Arriving home it was quickly in the shower and quickly out the door to join the fam for my nieces first, first birthday party [the second first birthday party is this weekend]. History has proven you can guarantee unnecessary drama and angst when everyone is put together in the same place but it was the least stressful family event I can remember. Unnervingly odd. That night, a sushi train dinner followed by catching up with friends was all that could be managed after an exhausting day. The real highlight of Sunday was that shops were open.

This rare novelty enabled acquisition of grocery items without having to travel too far. Oh how I look forward to August when the laws finally change and everything is open every Sunday. From there it was a few hours going house to house sorting out computer problems and finally home to plant it at the PC for the duration working working. And that boys and girls was pretty much that. Alright we're about done with the blogging.

If you're still with me don't go anywhere now - this is where the update gets good. Check it.. Undo The End - Oh The Horror - WTF!!? Snooki Nudes - Weirdo Fuckers - Family Thing - Smurf Porn - Evilest Kids. Thai Toilet - Zombie Survivior - That Couch - Fuckstick Dad - Para- gasm - Bold Jerker - Racist Porn - Realist. Miley Nips - Point Blank - Punk'd! Hawt MILF - Big 'Ole - Surprise!!

Poor Gurls - Own Brand - Scissoring - Beer Me! I just got sacked from my job with the Lifeline crisis centre. A guy called Mohammed phoned and said "My girlfriend left me, so I'm lying on the railway track at Sydney Central waiting for the train to come".

I swear, all I said was "Remain calm and stay on the line".- -I met a girl in the pub. We chatted and got drunk and I ended up at hers. Listen" I said "I'm not very experienced and, when I'm with a girl for the first time, I do suffer from a bit of premature ejaculation". Well, we can take it slow, babe" she winked.

How premature?" "Remember earlier in the pub, when you asked me about sex?" "Yeah?" "Then".- -Why do I like women's sports: basketball, golf, pool, softball, volleyball, bowling, soccer, skiing, gymnastics, swimming, track & field, skating, summer, winter, indoor, outdoor sports, etc. Their athleticism, professionalism, determinism, litheness, dedication, commitment, spirit and devotion?

Nope! I just like to imagine them playing nude.- -A husband was sitting in his backyard looking rather sad. His neighbour called over the fence to ask what the problem was. I fell for one of those crazy questions women ask" said the husband. Now I'm in the doghouse".

What kind of question?" asked the neighbour. My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly".

That's easy. You just say 'Of course I will'" "Yeah" sighed the husband "that's what I meant to say. But what came out was 'Of course I do.'"- -My brother always wanted ten brothers so he could have a complete cricket team. I always wanted eighteen sisters so I could have a golf course. ORSM. VIDEOA kid gets a job in a small department store.

On his first day, the manager shows the kid round and explains that the company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The kid looked confused.. Now, it just so happened that a customer approached the manager and asked if they sold grass seed. Certainly" pointing to the wide range of seed boxes "and what sort of lawn mower would you like?" The customer looked baffled, so the manager went on "Well, you will sow the grass, the grass will grow, and you will need a lawn mower to cut it". I hadn't thought of that" says the customer.

Guess I'll take the lawn mower as well then". The manager then looks at the kid and says "Now do you understand our policy?" The kid replies "Yep.. Just then, a bloke walks into the store. The manager says to the kid "Go on, you can deal with this guy". So the kid asks the bloke if he can help. Yes" replies the guy hesitantly "Do you sell tampons..

I need some for the wife". Certainly" pointing to a shelf with tampons etc on it "and what sort of lawn mower would you like?"The customer looked baffled and the manager's face drops, so the kid went on "Well your weekend's fucked.. FUNNY AND CLEVER CLASSIFIED ADSFREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER - 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES - 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. FREE PUPPIES - Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Watch Kung Fu Panda Dailymotion.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED - Also 1 gay bull for sale. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £1.

Southern Trout Issue 1 May 2. Southern Unlimited, LLCSouthern Trout Issue 1 May 2. Published on May 5, 2. All trout. All South. All the time. Distilled southern trout fishing since 1.